A Disappointment

Today I returned home from a road trip, and I also learned some disappointing news. Back in September, I entered a poetry contest. I thought I maybe had a chance because it was not for one poem, but for a collection of poems spanning at least fifty pages. I have no delusions about being a great poet, but some of my poems are not too bad, and I thought that being able to submit a body of work might work in my favor. I also thought that maybe not many people would have that many poems to submit.

The winner was supposed to be announced in December, so I have checked the website several times. Today when I checked, I saw that the winner has indeed been announced—and it is not me, obviously. Now I have to consider if I want to submit that collection to other publishers, since I worked so very hard to get it ready. It would have been really nice to have that affirmation—that someone other than my late mother believes I am a poet!

Reaching the Finish Line

I have twice mentioned a poetry project that I’ve been working on. I consider myself a rather mediocre poet. I have a daughter who is ten times better than me, which makes me feel even more insecure. However, when I look at my poems objectively, I think it’s fair to say that at least a quarter of them are pretty good. On a personal level, writing poetry is something that feeds my soul and therefore I will continue doing it even if I have no hope of ever being really good.

This time I attempted something completely new for me—a series of poems all dealing with a common theme. I was inspired by a traumatic event in my family to write some poems dealing with it. I chose a specific number of poems to write based on a detail that is part of the story. I once kept up with a challenge to write a poem a day for several months, and I thought it would be easy to write this finite number of poems, all related to this one theme. I imagined that I’d be done in no more than three months.

How wrong I was. Because, as I said, the event was traumatic, writing about it was also traumatic. To write honestly means to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and feel what they feel. Then you have to find a way to express those feelings in verse. The process is emotionally exhausting, at least for me. And once you have been in that place emotionally, it is ever more difficult to make yourself go there again so you can write another poem. Three months turned into twenty-three.

I was determined to finish before the end of this year, so I could present the collection to a family member as a gift. The month of November left me feeling wrung out and fragile, but I did finish. Last week I printed out the poems, put them in an album, and on Friday I mailed them off. Soon, I will publish them and when I do, I will tell you about it.

Genre Jumping

In my last post I mentioned a poetry project, and also several short stories that have been published or are about to be. I focus on fiction a lot, because I love it, but here’s the thing: what I really love are stories. Stories and words. So I don’t just write one thing.

I write poems, and that particular activity feeds a part of me that nothing else can satisfy.

I write short stories, and for some reason that I don’t know, my short stories almost all fall into the category of “magic realism,” though there are a couple of science fiction tales in the bunch.

I write novels, all of which are either fantasy or science fantasy.

I write essays, many of which incorporate a true-life story and what I learned from it, because stories are such a powerful way of learning something about yourself or about your world.

Finally, I write memoirs, because I am arrogant enough to believe that I’ve lived a life worth remembering. I don’t want my memories to be lost. I want my descendants to know what kind of technology-free childhood I had, growing up in rural Africa. I don’t think I’ve mentioned lately that my Africa memoir is still available. This particular book deals just with my life at a small mission boarding school in Zambia, but it’s also ultimately about being a kid and learning (one hopes) not to be jerk. Treat yourself for Christmas!

http://www.lulu.com/shop/linda-burklin/this-rich-wondrous-earth/paperback/product-20566208.html

 

Win!

I passed the 50,000 word mark yesterday morning, and just kept going. I’m really into my story now. The first 30,000 words are always the hardest! I am up to 53,000 now and hoping to make at least 55,000 before I close the books on November.

It has been great to be writing again. That is the bright side of NaNoWriMo. If you haven’t been writing regularly for a while, you realize how much you love and miss it and want to keep doing it. I really hope I don’t lose my momentum, because I really love this story and want to finish it.

Believe it or not, I have also actually been working on some poems.

Ambrosia for the Soul

Yes, I know NaNo starts today. I have even written a few words already, and will write more later. First, however, I want to say something about this weekend’s conference.

It was my first time to teach at a writers’ conference instead of just attending. I worked very, very hard to prepare for the class I taught and I think it went well both times.

After teaching my second class, there was one class period remaining. Often by that time at a writers’ conference, my brain is overstuffed and I find it hard to get much out of that last class. This time I had signed up for a class on advanced techniques for poetry and I honestly wasn’t expecting much.

I should say that my relationship with poetry has been a rocky one for the last couple of decades, at least on the writing side of it. I love poetry very much and it has enriched my life since childhood. I started writing poems as a teenager and rather fancied myself as a poet.

By the time I was a mother of young children, however, poetry was one of the things that got squeezed out because I didn’t have time for it. I was thrilled that my daughter Mary took to writing poems as if born for it, and she is a much better poet than I could ever be. I stopped thinking of myself as a poet for many years.

Then, six or seven years ago, I decided to challenge myself by writing a poem a day for several months. It was so hard to get back into it. Most of what I wrote was laughably bad–but some of it wasn’t. The more I wrote, the more I felt that it fed something deep inside me. Still, when the experiment ended, so did my poem writing.

Two years ago, when I decided to enter the writing contest at the East Texas Christian Writers Conference, I entered in each of the three categories. To my surprise, my essay won first place (and the grand prize) and my poem came second. So last year I entered a couple more poems and they came in first and second.

Now despite this, I never attended a poetry workshop at this conference. Somehow, I guess I thought it was frivolous. The same man always teaches them, and though I greatly enjoy his poems when he reads them aloud at the banquet every year, I never bothered to look up his credentials, and that is why I went into the workshop yesterday with very low expectations.

Boy, was that a mistake! Donn Taylor has a PhD in poetry. I so rarely even meet someone who shares my love of great classic poems, and I have never had a chance to learn from a master of the craft. I’m telling you, I almost wept tears of happiness sitting there in that basement room. I’m tearing up now just thinking about it!

That last hour of the conference fed my soul and spirit in a way I find hard to explain. My inner poet has been starved for so long, and I didn’t even know it. Instead of walking out of that conference overcome with exhaustion and a too-full brain, I walked out feeling rejuvenated, reborn, and reinvigorated. I have a poetry project I have been putting off for months and now feel that maybe I am ready to tackle it. Oh, how I love language!